Washington, D.C. – Well-known virologist Anthony Fauci, whose prominence came to the forefront during the Covid-19 outbreak, has retired from his lead position at the National Institute of Health. He has some plans for a unique hobby that most scientists never dream of achieving.
We sat down for an exclusive interview with the doctor as he wore a Flava Flav-type necklace of a coronavirus symbol and Coach Deion “Prime” Sanders sunglasses.
“As you know, I made my money on the Covid-19 outbreak. No one knew who I was before that, but things have changed since Trump foolishly left me in charge and Biden doesn’t know whether he is eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Now, that I have fame, it is time to do what I have always wanted – spewing lines from the Wuhan crimes.”
While the doctor does not currently have a record label that has officially signed him, he is not discouraged.
“I’m not worried about it. The internet makes a way for everyone. The Wuhan lab made a way for a virus. I was thinking about filming my first music video from there as a commemoration. I think I kind of owe it to them.”
United States Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) is well known for getting under Fauci’s skin during the height of the pandemic during congressional hearings.
“Fauci is going to start rapping,” Paul asked. “What is he going to rap about? Being in bat caves and finding the Wuhan Flu there? Or how he mooned one of the Chinese female scientists in the breakroom? Oh! How about the time he told China’s President Xi Jinping, who personally cooked a high-end lo mien meal for Fauci, that it tasted like a donkey set his butt on it?”
As we ended the interview with Fauci, he asked if we wanted to hear him “drop some exclusive rhymes.” We accepted.
"Wuhan Flu, gonna get you.
Get your mask and your jab
You gonna lockdown or be a clown
Don’t be drab, it started in a lab.”
Since the pandemic is over, and all government officials made their money, it appears that it is okay to admit the origins now.