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Bigfoot To Issue Sanctions Against Tabloids

Salem, OR - The chatter about Bigfoot seems to never cease and it is starting to wear on him after decades of supposition, assumption and outright lies.


There are television specials and printed or online publications that have much to say about the elusive beast, even though they know very little about him.



The Machination Times received a phone call from Bigfoot about his treatment and he wanted to get the truth out ahead of his next steps.


“I’ve been keeping up with what is going on between Russia and Ukraine, speaking to my cousin Yeti about it as well. I started on a tirade about the treatment I get from media sites looking for clickbait. He asked me if I ever considered taking sanctions out on them in the form of lawsuits and boycotts. I never really thought about it but I have seen successful suits against certain mainstream media outlets as of late so that is a strong option.”



We asked Bigfoot what he would like to accomplish.


“Well, it’s like this. I called your outlet because you’re objective, fair and unbiased; those are difficult qualities to find with media/news organizations nowadays. That being said, I knew I could come to you and let you know that I plan on going after those who lie about me. I can’t even get anything to eat without having The Press ask me a question then twisting my words and leaving out context. This isn’t anything I want to do, but the media needs to be responsible.”


Bigfoot declined to comment on his attorney because he does not want to cause a distraction before the sanctions are placed.

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