Updated: Feb 5
Coutts, MT - A Chinese spy balloon was recently spotted over the skies in Billings, Montana, sparking national concern. Upon questioning, the White House and Pentagon stated that they are monitoring the situation and did not want to make any quick decisions that could cause international fallout. Political critics fired back stating that the balloon is a national security issue as the information gathering device flew over several Air Force bases where nuclear missiles are stored; also stating that it should be shot down.
We spoke to Bigfoot about this situation since he has a cabin in the area to get his take on the international situation.
“Yeah, guys, I am a little concerned. This piece of Chinese surveillance flew over my cabin and as you know I am more of a private man myself. I don’t want our adversary capturing arial photos of my land. As you know, my place here in Coutts is on the Canadian border and a place for a potential invasion. Does anyone know why this hasn’t this been shot down yet? Who is in charge in Washington and why are we giving the Chinese so much power over America? What happened to the Land of the Brave? I have a lot of chicken coups here and you know how the egg issue is going in this country. They are essentially pushing out gold.”
Bigfoot had an interesting take when we asked about the Chinese claims that the spy balloon is actually a weather balloon.
“A weather balloon? Ha! What do the Chinese care about our weather? And how do you allow a weather balloon get thousands and thousands of miles off course and not correct it, especially with all the little gadgets and gears that are used to control its direction. How about I take some gears and gadgets and tell the Feds where to stick their claims with the Chinese? How ‘bout that?”
The interview abruptly ended when Bigfoot ran off saying something about his chicken coups being attacked by birds with the Chinese avian flu.