Bomb Cyclone Made by Government to Make Money

Washington DC – A scientist contracted through the United States government decided that the bomb cyclone that is causing power outages, death, fear and destruction is actually something the government created to make money and prove a highly contested debate about the climate.

Scientist James McBee stated he is ready to blow the whistle on the deep, dark portions of the government and show that control will be used through the weather.

“I am sick of it. The government, both sides of the political aisle, will lie to you about everything. Nothing is ever as it seems, and their goal is two things: control and money, as well as controlling the money, if you understand what I mean. They want to control everything but have no self-control. Weird, I know but that is how the government and politicians operate. All these politicians are in it for the money.”

We asked how the bomb cyclone will prove global warming if this event is causing polar temperatures deep to the southern United States.

“Well, to prove one exists, you need the other. Politicians go out and tell people what we, the scientists, tell them about global warming or climate change. So, we created this polar bomb in northern Canada at a site more secretive than Area 51 then pushed it out. If you noticed, this will last three to four days then it will warm up significantly. By next week, on New Year's Day, certain temperatures will be above normal. It is all a brilliant government plan!”

We spoke to a Democrat and a Republican politician under the agreement their names would not be released.

They both laughed when we told them what McBee said. “He is one hundred percent right,” one politician said while kicking back and lighting up his expensive Cuban cigar. “We’ve made so much money on this while pretending to disagree in the forefront and making huge capitalistic deals in the background. This whole thing has been a cash cow.”

McBee called before publication to say this: "I forgot to mention one thing. I’m getting paaaaaaaaaaid!” then he hung up.