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Gas Stoves Cause Brain Damage; Affects Politicians The Most, According to Study

Updated: Feb 5, 2023

Los Angeles, CA - The National Consumer Safety Commission recently released a report that says the usage of gas stoves causes cognitive issues in both children and adults.


As news was released of the alleged dangers of gas stoves leaking methane into the air of homes and building up unhealthy amounts of the element in the brain, this publication decided to look deeper into the issue and how it affects our national politics. The study was astounding.

The Machination Times was able to speak to a doctor in Los Angeles who wished to remain anonymous that specializes in cognitive impairment.


“So we found that the gas leaked from the stoves causes brain damage, yes. But more importantly is this: Those with the worst brain damage become politicians. Just watch the national news and you will easily see that. Now, we have people with extensive cognitive impairment running the country, making policy and passing laws; been happening for decades. It all makes sense now doesn’t it? I was surprised but not shocked.”


As we have found out, the idea that power corrupts is not as strong as we initially believed. Methane gas is the culprit to the government corruption, horrible decisions and chronic lying by politicians.

A newly elected representative said his first day in the new congress was mind blowing.


“I entered the halls and thought it would be a simple day. You know, orientations and what not. Not at all! I was cornered by some senior politicians who asked if I grew up with a gas stove or electric. When I said ‘electric’ you would have thought I insulted their dead grandmother. They muttered something about following laws, and common sense between each other and quickly left.”

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