Updated: Sep 27
Kansas City, KS – As rumors of Kansas City Chief’s tight-end Travis Kelce and pop star Taylor Swift being an exclusive item swirl, The Machination Times has learned that Kelce was assaulted this past Sunday after the game. He will not admit to it, and we have been told that Swift is not the suspect, but given her questionable choices in clothing, this publication thinks differently.
This past Sunday the Chiefs engaged in a contest with the Chicago Bears. During the game, Swift was seen in Kansas City garb and watching the game with Kelce's mom cheering for the Chief’s star player. After the game, Kelce and Swift were seen walking out together in what seemed to be a formidable gait. However, it seemed like something was wrong with Kelce – possibly being his white denim outfit that was covered with odd blue patterns.
“I was assaulted,” Kelce said, in an exclusive interview, as he dropped his head. “It is absolutely embarrassing. I haven’t contacted the police yet. I was leaving the locker room and was jumped by someone wearing a Sherwin-Williams hat, yelling ‘This is Sherwin-Williams country!‘ And throwing blue paint on me. I was then pushed me over and they jammed empty paint cans on my feet so I couldn’t chase him down. Have you ever had that happen to you before? It’s an ordeal.”
We were able to sit down with Swift about the incident.
“I think the paint was an upgrade to be honest,” Swift said. “I didn’t see it happen though. I was in the bathroom when it happened, just came back and he had blue paint on him. I told him to forget about it and it was time to go to Waffle House to celebrate the win and work on lyrics for my new album once we get liquored up later on.”
The Machination Times obtained security footage from the stadium. The view we were able to see showed a subject in a Sherwin-Williams hat with long blond hair. The hat was pulled over the person’s face but it appeared the suspect was wearing red lipstick, similar to Swift’s.