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Kevin McCarthy Concedes to Not Give Funds to Prepping Coalitions

Washington, DC - The House of Representatives has been in turmoil since Tuesday, voting for a new Speaker of the House. Republican candidate Kevin McCarthy, the party nominee for the majority, needs 218 votes to secure the position. However, twenty colleagues refuse to vote for him, causing concessions to be made - the most significant deal impacting preppers across the country.


As the balance of power shifts, the Republican Party needs a Speaker to push their agenda. While that has been stalemated, due to twenty holdouts, McCarthy has determined that he will concede some changes to help himself out. One of those changes involves cutting funds to prepping societies and fall out sectors.

“We are really getting screwed here,” said Jim McDonald, a survivalist from southern Alabama. “Where’s our subsidies? Where’s the money we deserve? Everyone else gets dollars. Again, we get shunned because politicians call us paranoid. Uh, no one has ever proved that. I challenge anyone to prove we are suspicious of the government and ready for a societal collapse. Just let us live our lives."


We were able to get in contact with McCarthy’s office to ask him why he is taking money away from preppers.

“What have they done for us? They don’t trust the government but want our money. They hoard food, guns, bullets and build forts in the woods to play 'doomsday'. The Anti-Prepper Coalition lobbyists want money taken away from preppers. So, being the good politician I am, I obliged. What’s the problem? Business as usual.”


McDonald said that he can’t build his prepper project homes in the woods now and plans on suing the federal government.


The Machination Times endorses no political candidates or parties. We think they all suck.


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