Seattle Soda Taxes Have Enraged Bigfoot

In 2018, the City of Seattle, Washington, passed an ordinance that placed an extra tax on sugary soft drinks. In return, it appears that beer consumption has increased, and the ever so elusive Bigfoot is one of the residents that is not happy about it.

We were able to catch up with Bigfoot when he was leaving a local 7-Eleven at around 4:30 in the morning and asked him what he thought about it.

“Well, to be honest it doesn’t make too much sense. I understand that the city wants to reduce sugar consumption since excess leads to diabetes and other health issues. However, beer consumption has increased. We all know that there’s a load of carbs in beer, which metabolizes into sugar if not burned as energy and we are back in the same position. So, either the tax needs to be removed or tax the beer just the same.”

He went on to say that the only winner is the city and not the residents they are claiming to protect.

“Yeah, so we have to pay this extra tax and there still the excess sugar health related problems. Meanwhile, the city is getting more tax revenue. I haven’t seen any improvements to our forests. I’ve been getting the run-around about the new walking trail that is supposed to be put in that would make it easier to go from my cabin to Mt. Ranier. Typical bureaucratic nonsense.”

We reached out to all the City Council members for comment, but have not received a response at the time of publication