Milford, CT - The famous fast food establishment known as Subway has filed a lawsuit against Oceangate, the now infamous submersible watercraft company which is responsible for the death of several individuals.
On Sunday, Oceangate sent down a water vehicle into the Atlantic Ocean which was supposed to take occupants to the ocean floor so the viewers could get a firsthand look at the Titanic wreckage.
Instead, the poorly built submarine has appeared to implode, killing all occupants as the Coast Guard has found debris.
Due to the negative coverage of the event, and the use of the words “sub” or “submarine” on dozens of news outlets low information individuals have decided to boycott and protest the large restaurant chain.
These actions have caused Subway to lose money in their stock valuation.
On Thursday, Subway filed a lawsuit, suing Oceangate for monies lost; the amount is unknown at this time.
Part of the lawsuit reads the following: “Subway Foods is losing value due to the recklessness set forth by Oceangate. Their irresponsible use of submarines has caused loss of money for Subway Foods. Subs and submarines should be used to satisfy hunger, bring families together, shut kids up from crying and give parents peace.”
We spoke with CEO John Chidsey.
“Our stock is dropping and protests are popping up outside our restaurants. Workers are terrified to leave as they are being threatened to get slapped with Butterball cold cuts, and we don’t use Butterball! One protestor told an employee they were going to force the worker to eat our vegetable patty. Have you seen those things? Gross. The vegans and vegetarians are responsible for those, not us directly. Plus, we are still dealing with the Short Sub Scandal of 2007!”
Oceangate attorneys stated they only had one comment.
“Ya gotta find our clients first.”