Corburn, VA - A local resident has a suspicion that his newly purchased gas mask may have the remnants of flatulence dust inside it.
According to Timmy Sanderson, he recently purchased a new gas mask for his survival kit designed to protect him in the case of a fallout situation.
“So, I ordered my mask from this online shop. It is supposedly brand new and never been worn. I get the mask in the mail after getting home from work and was so excited about it. I take it from the package and put it on then BAM! The smell of rotten butt punches my nose like Tyson knocked out opponents.”
We asked Sanderson why he thinks the smell is from human gas.
“I don’t know exactly but here’s my thoughts on it. People like me are self-sufficient and a threat to the government. I bet mine isn’t the only one that been farted in. Something’s up with this. The Dark State is trying to stop us because survivalists will survive the meltdown and crash. I bet they’re farting on everything - masks, food, water, blankets, flashlights. The government is dirty and twisted - just like their butt vapors.”
To a prepper, the inside smell of a mask is akin to how most enjoy the smell of a brand-new car.
We spoke to the mask manufacturer and explained what was going on. They assured us that there are no covert government employees taking turns to filthy the masks with unpleasant odors.
We explained to Sanderson what we were told by the company.
Sanderson said,” No, they farting on everything out here” and hung up the phone.