Updated: Feb 5
Billings, MT - Recently, a weather ballon was seen over the big skies of Montana. Some reports claim that the ballon belongs to the adversary of America, China, who was spying on areas where nuclear capability is located. Now, as the country is on edge, anything that is located in the sky is subject to being eliminated, even if it is benign.
The Machination Times learned that food delivery service Door Dash has been experimenting food delivery in order to cut down on their carbon footprint and using large balloons to deliver to multiple locations at one time.
We spoke with Tony Xu who is the company CEO about this.
“I know I’m Chinese but I have nothing to do with any weather balloons or potential spy balloons that China might be floating over to the United States, so to blow up food being delivered is ridiculous. Does the government not see the massive logo that says the company name on the side of the ballon before they send a surface to air missile?”
We were able to make contact with the Chinese government on this matter.
“Those silly people. They are blowing up food delivery service balloons. The Door Dash employees and CEO are just trying to help the environment like the government asks and they send up rockets, blowing up what they asked for and causing more carbon footprint that’s declared to be evil. It’s all so silly.”
There is no word on whether or not the City of Billings will launch their annual hot air balloon send off this weekend.
“They are shooting down everybody in the air around here,” exclaimed the city manager, as he ran off across the street.